Von Klein Apartment Manager Caught Shitting In Tenant’s Bathroom Again

Von Klein Apartment Manager Caught Shitting In Tenant's Bathroom

Doug Benson, the Von Klein manager, enjoys taking a figurative and literal shit on people’s privacy.

Eugene, OR – Last week, sophomore psychology major Claire Daniels scheduled a maintenance request for a broken fan in her apartment. Knowing that she would be out of her apartment for class, she applauded the chance that she would not have to interact with Doug Benson, her “creepy landlord and maintenance man.” But on the day of the maintenance, Daniels realized she actually did her reading over the weekend and that it would be pointless to attend class.

As she returned to her apartment and opened her front door, Daniels recalled hearing a door inside shut. “I thought it was just the wind,” future psychologist Daniels commented. “I wish I would have been more vigilant, and that I could have avoided what happened next.”

As Daniels began to devour the last key lime Chobani, a smell began to flood the apartment, and then she heard a shuffle from outside her kitchen.

She calmly approached the only closed door in the room: the bathroom. Reaching for the handle, Daniels failed to move the door with anything more than a jiggle. A voice rang out from inside the room. “Miss Daniels,” it said, “I’m so very sorry.”

“Who is this!?” Daniels retorted.

“It’s me: Doug. You called me to come fix your fan. I fixed it, and I, uh, needed to test it.”

Doug was reportedly seen by Daniels and neighboring tenants while leaving the apartment complex, duck-walking in a pair of white tighties.

“NO RAGRETS!” Benson commented on the awkward situation. “If anything, I think I can now completely depend on her making that bathroom 100% mine from now on. Except for the homeless people I let in from time to time.”

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