UO Administration Realizes GTFs Must Be Poor To Drum On Buckets, Trash Cans

UO Administration Realizes GTFs Must Be Poor To Drum On Buckets, Trash Cans

One GTF perfectly displays her poorness by drumming on a trash can found outside of Allen Hall. (Photo by Yoda Mass.)

Eugene, OR – In a display that many students call “so ghetto” and faculty call “an embarrassment I refuse to let my kids see, because they’ll probably end up like that when I kick them out of the house,” members of the GTFF went on strike with chants and cacophonic drumming on buckets and trash cans, which has proven controversial among members of UO’s administration.

Trashcans? Are we really paying them that little?” UO administration member Shari Cryan said. “Homeless people here can do better than that!”

“I didn’t have to listen to a word of their chants—drumming on trashcans said it all,” another UO administration member, Craig Ferguson, said. “Please, we get it, GTFs. We’re sorry. We’re so sorry!”

Additional administration members commented that they will start paying GTFs enough to rent snare drums from UO’s marching band, but that they will not be able to give them enough for “the wage they desire, or for the rights to the chants they stole from every other striking union.”

The GTFF has yet to formally respond to this notion. However, several GTFs around campus have reported that they will “start trashcanning professors [they] don’t like” until the university starts repaying each of them with 5 lunch dates with interim president Scott Coltrane.