Professor Informs Eager Students In Front Two Rows Of Class They’re Qualified To Replace Protesting GTF

Professor Asks Students In Front Row If They Want To Replace Striking GTF

Professor Medu announces his offer and suspects that at least two of the students are interested in his offer.

Eugene, OR – This afternoon, University Math I professor Tanner Medu unabashedly informed the students in the front two rows of his class at Fenton Hall that all of them are qualified to replace his now-protesting GTF.

“You’re all qualified to replace him,” Medu said about the GTF who is applying his skills in mathematics to calculating exactly how the GTFs are being paid far less than the adequate amount that is required for rapidly changing life conditions. “We don’t need an interview, and we don’t have to go through the university. Just give me the good word, and you’re hired.”

Despite knowing that many of the students in the front row were actually performing at an average or below average level in his class, Medu offered all of them equal opportunity for the position. 

“First come, first served—even if you haven’t been doing that well,” Medu clarified to the students. “Because at least I know that you guys have been listening to what I’m saying in lecture.”

With some investigation, Daily Jade discovered that Medu had already rejected the application of one student in the back row of the class who had perfect scores on all of the examinations and quizzes.

Upon questioning Medu about this decision, he responded, “Well, it’s because he [student] bullshitted his homework. He still had all the right answers—the kid’s clearly a genius. But the point of being a GTF is to do grueling, repetitive paperwork for outrageously low pay. I’ve seen students in the front row jot down the most unnecessary material, like, stuff you should have learned in elementary school. But they work hard at it, and that’s what I need.”

Medu added that, if all of the students in the front row unexpectedly fall short of expectations, he will ask “the lady who comes in to fix our projector every now and again.”

  • J

    A good author would actually write out an acronym before using it constantly so that people actually know what they’re talking about.

    • EZ

      If you attend UO and don’t know what “GTF” stands for, I don’t know what your life is. If you do not attend UO and that is the reason you do not know what GTF stands for, that is more understandable. However, this website is clearly directed at a UO audience, so bear with it, and, of course, it doesn’t hurt to be already informed.