Lane County Sciuridae Obituaries

ElElisha Jerkins - dead squirrelisha Jerkins: April 14 – October 26, 2014

Eli the barrow-squirrel, you’re the old town. Sold coal and marigolds, and he would cry out all down the day. Eli the barrow-squirrel, they found him dressed all in corduroy. He had drowned in the river down the way.




Thaddeus J. Realestate - dead squirrel

Thaddeus J. Realestate: January 21, 2011 – October 25, 2014

For years Thaddeus J. Realestate remained the illustrious financial magnate of the spooky, scary, sciuridae underworld. We invite you to share condolences over the late Thaddeus at his spooky, solemn, Sunday service.




Randalf Smïrchënbërgger (AKA “El Rando”) - dead squirrel

Randalf Smïrchënbërgger (AKA “El Rando”): May 2, 2014 – October 24, 2014

Nothing special here. Just an average dead squirrel.