Sports

Southern Californian Bro Failing To Do Any Work All Term Tells Professors “It’s Chill”

Robbie Jackson ditches class to talk about being chill.

Eugene, OR — Robbie Jackson, a recruited lacrosse player from some random beach, Southern California, walked out of his college-level classes with a cumulative GPA of .01 from failing to do any work at all. Jackson’s professors would frequently ask him if everything was all right and if they could at least help him write…

Phil Knight Donates $500,000 To Start Online Football Classes At UO

Phil Knight Donates $500,000 to UO to Start Online Football Classes

Hillsboro, OR — This afternoon, Nike co-founder Phil Knight announced that he donated half a million dollars to forward online football education at UO. “U of O isn’t doing as well academically as it used to, and I think that’s because football hasn’t been incorporated into its education,” Knight said. “You have to give students…