BREAKING: ISIS Leader Captured, Traced Back To Roomba Order On Amazon.com

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi thought his order was worth the risk. (Graphic prepared by Yoda Mass.)

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi thought his order was worth the risk. (Graphic prepared by Yoda Mass.)

Baghdad, IRQ — Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, leader of the Islamic State of Iraq & Syria (ISIS), was reportedly captured by the US military today. His location was determined after he ordered a Roomba, the robotic vacuum produced by iRobot, off Amazon.com.

Government officials released a report this morning detailing the capture of al-Baghdadi. On Saturday, January 20th, al-Baghdadi logged onto Amazon.com under the email numbuh1terrorist@hotmail.com, to browse and eventually purchase a Roomba. Al-Baghdadi failed to realize that his name was attached to his email, and typed in the address to his mother’s house in Baghdad, Iraq, where he had been living for an undisclosed period of time.

Dean Richardson, the National Surveillance Agency (NSA) agent responsible for tracking Amazon.com orders, red-flagged al-Baghdadi’s order. When asked to comment, Richardson said, “I was just doing my routine Amazon surveillance — which generally consists of browsing orders of adult merchandise made by housewives — when I stumbled upon al-Baghdadi’s order.”

After successfully tracking the address of al-Baghdadi, the NSA immediately shared it with the US Military. Because al-Baghdadi is an Amazon Prime member, they had a short window of time to assemble a task force and raid Mrs. al-Baghdadi’s home before the Roomba arrived. US officials put the operation together in a matter of hours, and Navy Seals touched ground in Iraq later that evening.

In an interview, taskforce leader Sgt. John Jackson said, “We got him, we got him good, and we got him hard.”