Vonn Burgundy

BREAKING: Gottfredson Accepts Promotion To Vice President Of UO Athletic Department

Eugene, OR – University of Oregon President Michael Gottfredson will resign from his presidency to accept a promotion to vice president of the University of Oregon Athletic Department. The position, which offers increased pay, benefits, and influence over university activities, was offered to him in the wake of his handling of a sexual assault investigation…

Shasta Police Issues Warning Of High Greek-On-Greek Violence

Redding, CA – The Shasta County Sheriff’s Department released a report this week warning that violence between collegiate Greek life factions could hit an all time high this Memorial Day weekend. The report cites record low water levels as a primary factor in inciting tensions between Fraternities and Sororities. “With less access to boat landings…

Daily Jade Infiltrates Emerald “Ducks on” Video

We at Daily Jade are huge fans of Emerald‘s “Ducks on” videos. So it is an honor that a member of our staff could invade the ranks of professional news reporting and contribute to such groundbreaking video journalism.

We aspire to maintain our professional relationship with Emerald and continue contributing when needed.

Here is Vonn Burgundy “Making News Better” as the host of “Ducks on Tinder.”

Parties Ignoring Government Corruption And Racism Continue On In ASUO Election

Eugene, OR — The Ducks Like You and Mighty Oregon parties, who consciously decided against exposing corruption and racism within the ASUO, have advanced past the primary phase and into the general elections. “I’m thrilled we’ve beaten someone who faced intimidation and bribery and brought it to the attention to the student body,” Ducks Like…

Putin Applauds UO Administration’s ASUO Election Management, Announces Upcoming Visit

Moscow, RU – Russian president Vladimir Putin applauded the UO Administration’s intervention in the ASUO elections. The Russian premier, known for his controversial handling of internal politics, heralded the administration’s meddling in the affairs of democratically elected bodies and declared that he will be visiting the university to give a special seminar on Machiavellian politics.…