Uncle Dick

Bro At Rec Center Can’t Explain His Wearing Leggings On Arms/Chest Day

Portland, OR — Despite today allegedly being a chest, shoulders, and arms day, marginally athletic sophomore Shad McTrowbridge was spotted “rocking” a pair of plaid Carolina blue Lycra leggings in the Student Recreation Center (SRC). “Yeah, we definitely did legs yesterday,” roommate Ryan Milligan confirmed as McTrowbridge swung a pair of heavy ropes in a…

Student A Cappella Groups Cursed To Sing For Eternity On Muted EMU Televisions

Eugene, OR — In what appears to be an unfortunate cosmic tragedy, a pair of student a cappella performing groups have apparently been doomed to sing for eternity on muted televisions in the Erb Memorial Union (EMU). Freshman Abby Nusspunt, a marine biology major, first noticed their plight around Thanksgiving. “I was, like, wow, that…