Inaugural College Football Playoff Successfully Forces Southern States To Secede

States within the SEC conference were first to secede, followed by North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, and Southern Oregon. (Graphic by Yoda Mass.)

Dallas, TX – In a conjoined effort stemming from just after World War I, Congress and the NCAA has finally succeeded in forcing all southern states and southern Oregon to disassociate themselves from the United States. The secession began with the 11 states in the South Eastern Conference (SEC) and recently expanded to include North Carolina,…

UO Introduces First-Ever International Student Peer-To-Peer Bullying Program

International Student Bullying Program

Eugene, OR – With a recent $42,000 donation from the ASUO, the International Students & Scholar Services (ISSS) is opening a new program dedicated to helping exchange students adjust to difficult social scenarios at the university. The program, entitled Bulli-Bulli, allows the students to be embraced by a cold, heartless, and overwhelmingly American environment without…